Well, not really. But I'm sitting beside my suitcase now and I've started packing already. Tomorrow Mom and I will do the usual errands like getting pasalubongs for relatives.
I'm senti again. It never fails. Even if I've been 'away' from them for years, and only see them during the summer and Christmas breaks, I still get sad whenever we had to part. I remember last week dad asked me "Bakit ba babalik ka na ng Manila? May appointments ka ba dun?" I couldn't give a straight answer. I do have appointments- movies and dates with my friends to be exact.
This was not the first time he asked me about it. A week or two after arriving here for the holidays, he proposed to me the idea of being based here in Iloilo. I did like the idea for a secret reason (not love, unfortunately hahaha)- but it's not that easy. My friends are in Manila. Of course my most of my high school kabarkadas are here and we still get together every time I'm here but life's different now. We've grown and met a lot of people. We don't share as much visions like we used to back in high school. We still agree on the same things, we still dislike the same people, but my college life has been so amazing and eye-opening that I cannot live without that connection.
Manila is chaotic and expensive (believe me when I say it's cheaper in the provinces), it's stressful, it's difficult. But it's what pushes me (or us perhaps) to go farther, be more creative, more street smart, and more discerning of what we want in our lives. My stays in the province are just to buy me time to breathe, to relax, to think things over, but I have too much energy and only Manila can keep up with it.
I also value the pseudo-independence that I have there. I watch movies whenever I want, I go to the mall as I please, I cook my own food (therefore I get to learn a thing or two it the kitchen), I wash and iron my own clothes, etc. I know you'd say 'okay nga yun eh'. When you're a student, okay yun. You can devote your time to your studies. But when you're not going to school, what will keep you preoccupied? Aside from the work that I do, the aforementioned activities are my only forms of 'me time' and well, exercise (laundry). If I managed to do it while I was in college, I can definitely manage to do it now that I'm done with school.
Anyway back to my story, when Dad offered that I be based here, I said 'Iisipin ko. Pero babalik muna ako ng Manila at dun ko iisipin.' (Read as: If my secret reason works, yes, I will move to Iloilo and stay a little longer.)
