I wish I had more time to discover myself. You know, the kind of time where you're not just delaying the things you're supposed to do like papers, read things for work, run errands. That kind of time when you're not worried about having to pay your credit card and house bills, or what to cook for lunch and then dinner, or the mountain of soiled clothes waiting to be washed.

(Segue: You see when you're tasked to take care of meals, you're making lunch while thinking what to cook for dinner. Your brain is never really 'present'. Anyway...)

I wish I had more time to go to places and take pictures. I miss taking pictures. Never really got to sharpen my skills because I haven't got the time and the subject.

More time to hangout with friends who have good taste in music. I personally just get my music from whatever's playing on the radio when I commute, from tweets of friends or from youtube links people post on Facebook. Probably half the songs on my iTunes have not been played. This is why I do not own an iPod. It's never gonna be updated. I don't scour the Internet for new sounds, I don't know a lot musicians. That's why I like it when friends share 'underrated music'. (So please keep sharing!) Wish I had 'indie music' friends. HAHA

More time to watch movies. I'm not really into old movies. It makes me sleepy. I like the action-packed (Hollywood) films, a little drama and films in foreign languages. I have a few waiting to be viewed. If only I'm in the mood to read subtitles. :))

Okay I must end here. This is pointless ranting. I just want to post this so I can document my thoughts and have something to look back. :)

Hong Kong and Me

I'm back from a tiring but fun weekend in Hong Kong! Fa and I booked it randomly one night when Cebu Pacific announced a seat sale.

That's our view of Nathan Road from our window.

Anyway, I will not dwell on the details of the trip but rather, I'd like to list the things I discovered about myself during the trip.

1. I finally found my 'biggest' fear. It's getting lost (especially when you do not speak the local language). Weeks before the trip, I prepared out our itinerary, making sure I listed every turn and block we should not miss. I also had multiple copies of maps in my bag during the trip just in case we lose one. I guess that's the Taurus in me. I hate unfamiliarity. But I'm trying to push myself. Now I leave room for getting lost. It makes life interesting.

At Lan Kwai Fong, Central.

Sports cars are a common sight. High rollers, why not!

2. Found out I snore! Fa told me I was snoring during the plane ride back to Manila. HAHAHA I think it only happens when I'm dead tired and when I'm not in prone position.

3. I (still) want a new career. Not as an Art Studies student and teacher anymore. I've long accepted I failed the entrance exam. hehe Now I want to work in Disney! I want to be a performer there. haha I realized this when we watched the Lion King Festival. You see Lion King is my favorite (Non-princess) Disney movie. I'd watch it every weekend on VHS back when I was a kid (alternating it with Power Rangers sometimes). I knew in my heart I could sing those songs! Heck, I know them by heart. I know it's not the most glamorous job but it looks fun, exciting, and light! Disney is our version of Neverland!

The finale of Lion King.

No photo op session with the cast. :( We were led out of the hall right after the show.

That's about it I guess. I've been singing Disney songs since I got back last Sunday. Nakakaloka! If this does not wane off, I guess I really want to be in Disney. HAHA There's actually an audition for performers in HK in September 18. That would be very impractical though because: 1) I do not have money to book myself a ticket, 2) I am not prepared. I do not have an audition piece. I can sing, yes! But to set myself apart from the rest of the hopefuls, I should also prepare a spiel and maybe a dance number! HAHA CAREEEER! And 3) Maybe this is just a phase. Punky plans on auditioning too. She's an awesome dancer and has lots of friends who are now performers at Disney. Pretty cool noh? Punks suggested we wait for the Manila auditions. Last year they held one here, in partnership with Ballet Philippines, if I remember it right.

Anyway, one last photo I'd like to share.

The Abyss at Ocean Park taken from the highest point of the Ferris Wheel.

We rode the Abyss. Basically it takes you to the highest part of the tower at top speed and after a few seconds of anticipation, you are released and left practically free falling. You stop a few meters above the ground, go up again by a few meters, and then fall again. THAT WAS THE CRAZIEST 30 SECONDS OF MY LIFE.

*All my photos were taken using my Xperia Mini pro. I didn't bring my SLR since it was too heavy to lug around everywhere.

I WANNA BE SELFISH, JUST THIS ONCE.

Taking a risk isn't always about diving into a situation. It's also a risk not to dive. One risks not knowing what could be. However, I find myself making wrong decisions whenever I decide to dive into situations. Following my heart led me to do things, while not wrong, would have been better executed differently.

I know deep inside, I still want to take a chance. I still want to see where such decision will lead us, or maybe just me. It is obvious that odds are against me. We cannot be. Because he is tied in a world so different from mine. He's a rockstar in his own right. I'm just another girl, like many others, who'd kill to be the one who to prove he deserve to be taken care of.

I guess I'm over-thinking again. I'm thinking way ahead and waaaay beyond reality. So I will take the risk of running away. Maybe running away will make me better. I wouldn't know. It's my first time to run away. All I know is that I must choose for myself, and not because of temporary fancy. I don't know where this will take me but my guess is it's somewhere without him.

And my other guess... I'm okay. :)

You have no idea how much I want...

to be with you.

♥

Ang bonggang sales talk

Fa and I were checking the bazaars in Eastwood when we stopped by one stall selling beauty products.

Ate sales lady: Hi Ma'am try niyo po sunblock namin. Gawa po sa katas ng kamias.

*squeezes a small amount on my left hand and rubs it*

Ate: Ma'am compare niyo po sa isang kamay niyo. Pumuti po!

Me: Organic ba yan?

Ate: Opo, best seller rin po namin toh.

Fa joined me at the booth.

Me: Mare, try mo toh. Sunblock na galing sa katas ng kamias.

*Ate repeated the same demo on Fa.*

Me and Fa talking: 'Ang bango ha!'

Ate continued her sales talk: Ma'am may soaps rin po kami. Ito po *shows black soap* sinusupply namin sa ABS-CBN, sa talents ni Boy Abunda. Tapos na TV na rin po kami ma'am! Kilala niyo si Gretchen Fullido? Bumili rin po siya nito. Na feature na rin kami sa show niya.

Fa and I looked at each other.

Me: Aaaah, Gretchen Fullido?

Sabay alis sa booth.

HAHAHA

***

GOTTA LOVE KALOKA MOMENTS WITH FA. :))